RANDOM INSANITY
by AgentMaryland93
Summary: the most random thing i have ever wrote.
1. The world as we know it

**Ah, humor, something I haven't really worked with. Here I am going to though. Get ready for a barrel of laughs! :)**

Noble Team was lounging around, bored in the HQ. There were no missions and nothing to report. The Marines have gotten so bored they've resorted to throwing their helmets at one another. "Ugh, commander, this is so boring!" Kat groaned.

"Yeah, I know." Carter said.

"Well, lets think of something to do." Jun said.

"Hey! Lets see who has the best looking face! It'll be a 'Face' off!" Carter suggested.

"How do we play?" Kat asked.

"We just take off our helmets and see who has the best looking face." Carter said.

Noble Six flinched, 'crap' she thought to herself. "Ok Six, you're up first!" Carter said and everyone looked at her.

"Um, I would rather not." she said.

"Six, that's an order." Carter commanded.

"Alright, but I'm warning you, you're not gonna like it." she said.

"Aww, come on, don't be shy! We won't laugh!" Jorge said with a smile.

She took off her helmet slowly and everyone gasped when it was off. She looked at them, "I told ya."

"You're an Elite?" Carter yelled.

"Yeah." she said.

"Hey, you think that's bad?" Emile said and took off his helmet.

"You're the Ginger Bread Man?" Kat said in shock.

"Imna eat you!" Jun said and chased Emile.

"Run run run as fast as you can, can't catch me bitch, I'm the Ginger Bread Man!" Emile yelled as he ran out the door, Jun hot on his trail.

"Oh yeah? Well if Emile's the Ginger Bread Man, then I'm Wonder Woman!" Kat yelled as she flew out the window.

"I'll be Superman!" Carter yelled as he flew out a different window.

Jorge sat there and looked at the Elite that was Six."I didn't sign up for this." he said.

She shrugged, "I was just sent to destroy all humanity."

"Wanna get a pizza?" he asked.

"Sure." she said and they both walked out the door to Dominos.

"Welcome to Dominos how may I-AAAHHHHHH! AN ELITE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!1!" the cashier guy yelled before exploding into confetti.

They shrugged and grabbed the food and left. Suddenly a group of Moa came running down the street and Sgt. Major Johnson was on the front bird acting like a pirate. "A vast rap scallions! Surrender the pizza booty and no one gets hurt!" he yelled out while grabbing a box of pizza.

Just then Carter flew over head and crashed into a building and the building fell over, even though it only tilted a few inches. Fish flew out of the ocean and swam backwards in the air as Emile, in a row boat, paddled through the air, catching the fish. "Emile, what're you doing up there?" Jorge asked.

"I'm fishing!" he yelled.

"Be careful! You're going to crash!" Jorge yelled.

Just then Emile's boat hit a street lamp. "Oh no! I'm sinking!" he yelled while throwing air out by the buckets. He stopped and saluted as if he was going down with his ship as his boat flew upwards.

Then Dinosaurs were running rampant eating giant flying marshmallows and floating upwards. The world was careened in madness! The world started turning different colors like someone was painting the world and then it exploded into giant amounts of confetti! Noble Team just floated in space. Jorge looked at Carter, "I blame you for the worlds destruction."

Carter just shrugged.

**It's not long, but it's random as hell ;D**


	2. Showers, cookies, and plots oh my!

**I never thought I would even make a second chapter for this! But I have and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. 0.o please note that this chapter is NOT relevant to the last. So please don't flame me because everything is different. It's a sectional parody story, or whatever the hell it means to have each chapter represent something different.**

It was an average day on Reach, everyone was lounging around. Everyone, except the commander of course. Who was taking a shower in the third stall. Steam and the scent of Axe body wash permeated the air. Carter was just scrubbing all the oil and grime from his body; not taking notice to the shadowy figure behind him. Slowly making its way toward him, some sort of object in its hand. Suddenly for no reason what so ever, the coloring changed to black, gray, and white. The commander just shrugged it off as someone failing to color the scenery correctly.

Then, screeching stringed instrument music played in the background but he dismissed it as Emile trying to play the violin. The person got closer and closer; reaching a hand out, the figure yanked open the curtain and Carter screamed like a high pitched, little girl. Only to reveal it was...Jun, giving him back his scrubby brush. "Here Commander, I meant to give this to you earlier." he said while holding it the brush out.

There was a ding and Jun ran out screaming, "MY COOKIES! THEY'RE BURNING!"

Carter just stood there, wonder what the hell just happened. He shrugged, picked up the brush and went along cleaning his back and whistling Winn-Dixie.

Jun ran into the kitchen and found Emile eating his freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. "YOU MONSTER! WHY WOULD YOU EAT MY KEWKIES? THEY WAS MINE! I WAS GUNNA SHARE THEM WITH NOBLE SIX!(TT_TT)" Jun cried.

"Too bad! I ate every last one!" Emile said while walking off with the milk carton.

Jun yelled at the sky, "I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" then he laughed maniacally.

Kat, who had just walked in, backed out of the kitchen very slowly. "Just gonna pretend that I saw nothing." she muttered.

Jorge walked by Kat at that instant and said hello. "Hello Kat, have you seen Sasha?" he asked.

"Who's Sasha?" she asked.

"My turret." he said.

"You named your turret Sasha?" she asked while raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, it's no different than you naming your teddy bear ." he said.

"Leave out of this!" she growled defensively.

He chuckled, "anyway, have you seen her?" he asked.

"No. I haven't seen your heavy ass turret." she said.

"Well, she's gotta be around here somewhere. I'll keep looking for-" he didn't get to finish as Noble 6 came running in chasing some Grunts with Sasha, which she somehow converted into a flamethrower.

"SASHA? WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO YOU?" Jorge yelled while giving chase to the Lieutenant.

Six ran down the hall after the Grunts, laughing evilly as Jorge followed right behind.

Kat just stood there in shock, "there's no way in Hell this day can get any weirder." she muttered.

Just then, Master Chief came in dancing in a pink tu-tu. He began to dance like a ballet dancer in the Swan Lake. Kat fainted.

Rookie came running in, being chased by Buck who was on a rampage. "HOW DARE YOU!" Buck yelled while stepping over Kat.

"EDDIE! STOP! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! He doesn't know what a tampon is!" Dare yelled while trying to grab the chair from Buck's hands.

Rookie ran out the other door and ran smack into Carter who lost his towel. Teenage girls with no lives and no boyfriends came running in with cameras and Carter love paraphernalia. Such as: posters, shirts, signs, books, and for some strange reason, cologne products he never remembered sponsoring. Picking up his towel, he covered himself the best he could and jumped out a window. The fangirls chasing him down yelling out: "Nice ass! Marry me! Sign my bra!"

"I DON'T REMEMBER BEING THIS POPULAR!" he yelled out as he ran down the road.

Suddenly Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), was running right beside him. "You being chased by rabid, virgin fangirls too?" he asked.

Carter nodded, "I don't even know why I'm famous! What are they chasing you for?" Carter asked.

"They're chasing me because I'm a heart throb that played in one of the Harry Potter movies and I'm pretty much the hot vampire model for a Series called the Twilight Saga." he answered.

Suddenly the fangirls yelled out, "WE LOVE YOU CARTER AND ROBERT PATTINSON!"

"I think we better step on it! They're getting closer!" Rob yelled.

The two ran down the road, disappearing in the horizon as the fans chased them.

Jun was setting up his trap for Emile to walk into, "this should go according to plan as long as nothing goes wrong." he cackled while hiding.

The door opened, Emile stood on the target as a bunch of unnecessary parts moved, cut, and blew objects around. Jun chuckled as the bucket of tar fell down...on himself. "SHIT!" he cursed.

Emile laughed so hard he pissed himself, "Looking good baldy!" he chuckled.

"When I get my hands on you, I'll-" he was cut off as a pillow full of feathers landed on him.

"Hey look! It's the might cock!" Emile bristled with laughter as Jun stormed out and started coming up with a new plan.

**Later**

Many failed attempts later, Jun finally had an idea on how to get back at Emile, without hurting or embarrassing himself. He waited, finally Emile came out of his bedroom and went into the bathroom. Earlier, Jun had left a piece of cake out for the Noble to ingest. Once so, he knew it was only a matter of time before the darker skinned male would need to use the bathroom. Emile ran into a stall and closed the door. Relieving himself, he went to finish up, to find no more toilet paper. Jun walked in and scrunched his nose in distaste at the scent. "Damn Emile, what'd you eat?" he was trying not to laugh.

"Jun! Man, I need your help! There's no more-" Emile started.

"Toilet paper? I know, I took out every roll." Jun said.

"Come on man! Wait, you left that piece of cake for me to eat didn't you?" Emile realized.

"Yup, and I may or may not have put a laxative in said cake." Jun said mischievously.

Emile kicked the door down, his jumpsuit still pooled at his ankles. Jun pulled out a carton of eggs and lobbed them at him. "MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU'LL THINK BEFORE EATIN' MAH KEWKIES!" he yelled as he tossed the last egg at him.

Emile groaned, "can I at least have a roll of toilet paper?"

He winced as said rolled bonked him in the side of the head.

"Thanks."

"Now, to make me some more cookies! (:3)" he said happily before skipping off to the kitchen.

**Please note, the little face things in the parenthesis, are the faces the character is making. :D**


	3. The Sun

**Oh noez! Another chappeh! :O**

The world, as random as it is, was about to get even more random. With rabid fan girls, burning cookies, traps gone a miss, and so much more. Let's take a look shall we?

Jun was happily baking his cookies (after having to run to the store because he had later realized he had thrown all the eggs at Emile which he mourned for a good while by sitting in the corner rocking back and forth), when Noble Six walked in. "You're just in time! I made a batch of cookies!" (:3).

She took off her helmet and munched on a cookie then stopped. "I hate nuts." she said and walked out.

Jun sat in his corner of dispare. (TT_TT)

Meanwhile, the Commander was now being chased by a group of random chickens. "GAH! I WENT FROM BEING A CHICK MAGNET TO A CHICK MAGNET!" he yelled while running down the road while hearts flew off the chickens.

Then Link came out of no where and ate one of the hearts. "HEY! WRONG FORUM! SHOO!" Kat yelled at him.

Link ran off to the woods, where he got lost. (heh) Then Emile came in and ate a random donut, which gave him a stomachache. "DAMNIT!" he yelled as he ran to the bathroom yet again.

Suddenly, Marcus Fenix and a Palace Guard came in doing a chainsaw battle. Kat looks up at the author and yells, "HEY! CAN WE GET A FORUM CLEAN UP HERE?"

The author then grabs the two dueling with the Lancers and throws them back into their correct forum.

"Thank you!" Kat yelled and walked off.

Then a group of monkeys came in wearing party hats and made a conga line, in which Jorge joined in.

Jun ran out the door and saw their world had become 2D. He became so confused that his brain exploded into confetti. Carter then walked up, having lost the random chickens a while ago and dragged Jun to the Infirmary. There, they repaired Jun's now rather colorful brain.

Jorge, ends up being thrown out of the conga line for not being a monkey, and accidentally bumps a button which blows up the sun. Everyone looked up when it got dark.

"Alright, who blew up the sun this time?" Carter asked in annoyance.

"Oops." was all they heard.

"JORGE!" everyone yelled.

"Sorry." was all he said.

**Sorry it's so short.**


End file.
